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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a Pound and a Dollar? A dollar"

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"What do you call four Mexicans that have drowned? Cuatro Cinco."
"Just burned 2000 calories trying to avoid someone I know at the grocery store."
"My favorite sport is jumping into conclusions"
"Any salad can be a Caesar salad if you stab it enough"
"What is eternity? Two self-conscious guys taking a shit in a public restroom."
"I used to be a plastic surgeon. That raised a few eyebrows..."
"I T H I N K W E S H O U L D R U I N P E O P L E S T I M E L I N E B Y T W E E T I N G L I K E T H I S A L L D A Y . . . . ."
"I have a friend who has a strange obsession with ceilings. I guess you could say he's a ceiling fan."
"Take me down to Vatican City where the church loves greed and the Pope's all quitty! - Nuns N' Moses (I'm so sorry)"