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Joke of the Day

"What type pf culture is most peaceful and never gets angry? Nomads!"

"Didn't think my kid was ever going to sleep, earlier.You would've thought the cops were here,the way she was resisting a rest."

"[mailman delivering package to hospital] DOCTOR: ah, just what the doctor ordered MAILMAN: please stop saying that"

"PERSONAL TRAINER: How's your nutrition? ME: *dipping my burrito into custard* Not going to lie. It's been worse."

"I feel like we're so close to finding the perfect zinger that will make the whole country immediately unite."

"Bucks vs. Falcons REPORTER: Lovie, can you say something about your team's execution tonight? LOVIE SMITH: I think it would be a good idea!"

"What jobs have you found out about that made you think ""why does this exist""?"

"Do you have small pox? Because your face looks kind apache!"

"My husband: It'd be nice to have a wife who cooked dinner. Me: ooo!! Can we get one?"

"You know you've overplayed Mario Kart 64 when the next morning you Instinctively swerve to avoid a banana skin on the road."