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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between Karate and Judo? Karate is a martial art, and Judo is what they make bagels from."

"What's the difference between a good year blimp and 365 days of sex one is good year and the other is a great year."

"Feed a man... Feed a man some fish he'll eat for a day. Feed a man some poison he'll eat for the rest of his life. Feed a man some fingers and he'll ask you to stop."

"Vegans are confusing people. If they care about animals so much, why do they eat all of their food?"

"After months of trying to come up with a joke that makes sense, my 10yo sister dropped this one on me last night. What killed the cat? A stroke."

"What did the Urologist tell his newly accepted resident? Urine."

"What if we all do not exist and God is alone just imagining us?"

"How do you get a Mormon to stop drinking all of your alcohol? Invite two of them."

"I saw a squirrel pooping the other day. Shit's Nuts..."

"Friend: ""This is the year I'm going to marry my best friend."" Me: ""This is the year I'm going to train my dog to come when I call him."""