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Joke of the Day
"Attention r/Jokes! Will the real Steven Hawking please stand up?"
Next Joke
"My iPod started crying after I dropped it. I said ""You'll be okay, stop syncing about it"". We laughed & made jokes about Microsoft together."
"Tried to leave a voicemail for my mom but she picked up. I was forced to drop my phone into my purse and shake it around for 10 minutes"
"What do you call a urinary tract infection caused in a virgin? Immaculate Infection"
"If I find out who stole my copy of MS office, I'll kill you... You have my Word!"
"Me: [to cat] HEY! GET YOUR PAW OUTTA THAT FISH TANK, MISTER. Fish: [holding the cat's paw] Ignore himhe'll never understand love."
"If Christian Bale has never cancelled a date and said ""sorry to Bale on you"" then I don't think he is living life to the fullest."
"What do you say when a singer/songwriter poops on your car? CELINE WUT R U DION"
"A silly little joke I just made up about schizophrenia Person 1: I'm not schizophrenic! Person 2: I never said you were. Person 1: Oh, sorry, I guess I must be hearing things."
"You really shouldn't anthropomorphize in animate objects. They really don't like it."