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Joke of the Day

"So, today I woke up and asked my UK counterpart... ""Did you have eggs and bacon with your Brexit this morning?"""

"Hillary and Huma Hillary Clinton likes Huma Abedin who is married to Anthony Weiner which would make her Huma Weiner. That means that Hillary likes a Weiner which means that she is not gay."

"My baby was coughing and choking and I panicked because I didn't know what to do. So I grabbed the bong out her hands before she dropped it."

"[3am] *nudges wife* No way the old guy blew up all those balloons in Up in 1 night. Honey, you awake? I mean he's like a million years old."

"Why do riot police get to work early? ... .... To beat the crowd."

"What was Hitler's greatest accomplishment? He killed Hitler"

"[trapped on a patch of ice that's melting in the Arctic ocean] [rubs Genie bottle] ""can you hook me up with some wifi?"""

"This fibonacci joke is as bad as the last two you heard combined"

"Dear men, if you stopped seeing your wife as a woman, it doesn't mean that all men are blind."

"Why is Reddit different from Facebook? [removed]"