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Joke of the Day

"[hunting] DAD: dont scare him ME: did u know we dump 16 tons of sewage into our waters every minute DEER: holy shit DAD: what did i just say"

"My wife and I are both feminists But I'm a man so I'm a bit better than her at it"

"What do you call a slutty midget? A tator thot."

"Psychiatrist to Internal Revenue agent on couch: ""Nonsense! No way does everyone in the world hate you -- everyone in the US perhaps but certainly not everyone in the world."""

"For those of you who are a fan of Pokemon How do you get a Charizard on a bus? You pokemon!"

"What's worse than ten dead babies nailed to a tree? One dead baby nailed to ten trees."

"My girlfriend told me that having a good sense of humour is really important I told her to message the mods at /r/Jokes"

"Worry: a waste of imagination."

"My wife asked me what I was doing today... ...I said ""nothing."" She said, ""You did that yesterday."" I replied, ""I wasn't finished."""

"Super Mario Brothers left me with highly unrealistic expectations of how exciting a career in plumbing would be."