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Joke of the Day

"Oh, I can't check my disobedient child with the rest of my luggage? You're saying I have to carry-on my wayward son?"

"I don't know why everyone is hating on this mayweather it's beautiful out."

"Board Game 10: *reading card* Mama! Name 3 rappers! GO! Me: Saran, aluminum foil, & cellophane! *beaming* 10: *laughing* OMG! Me: What?"

"Q3: What did the female dinosaur call her blouse making business? A: Try Sara's Tops"

"Sex is like a game of cards. ....if you Dont have a good partner you better have a good hand!!!!"

"Who's the roundest knight at King Arthur's Table? Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi."

"In communist america Banks rob you."

"For each like, I'll take a shot on New Years..."

"I HATE being stuck in a vacuum chamber Makes my blood boil"

"If I learned anything from Aladdin it was that if u just keep lying to a girl eventually u will get to marry her and live at her dad's house"