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Joke of the Day

"If I learned anything from Aladdin it was that if u just keep lying to a girl eventually u will get to marry her and live at her dad's house"

"You can consider yourself lucky in life, if the cognac you drink is older than the woman that you're sleeping with."

"I saw a beaver movie last night. And it was the best dam movie I'd ever seen."

"Nuts What did one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob? ""We better get some support before someone thinks we're nuts!"""

"A black guy walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender asks him, ""Where did you get that thing?"" Parrot says, ""Africa."""

"I saw two guys having a fight on the train. So, being a bouncer, I dealt with the situation accordingly. I just stood there looking like a cunt."

"Did you hear about the new Vietnamese noodle / southern BBQ fusion restaurant? It's called Pho-Q"

"I don't have jealousy issues, but I do have ""flirt with my boyfriend one more time and I may have to cut you"" issues."

"[Describing the adjective thief to a sketch artist] Sketch Artist: Can you describe what he looked like? Me: Not anymore I can't"

"I heard they were going to put Frederick Douglass on the Fifty. But they were worried it would only be worth $30."