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Joke of the Day

"A friend went to the CVS in Baltimore after the looting to pick up some items, the only things left behind were sun tan lotion and father's day cards."

"Every timeI see a mattress tied to the top of a car, I think....there's another prostitute making a house call......"

"How do you make an Amish woman happy? Three Men-A-Night"

"I find it really hard to tell jokes on reddit. I always punch up the fuckline."

"A class is learning about probability.. Teacher: If I toss a penny, what are the chances that I get a head? Girl: For a penny? Not very bright."

"He just gave me his last bit of bacon. Nothing in my life has prepared me for this. It was a proposal right?"

"Q: IS IT SEXUAL HARASMENT IF YOU GO TO A WOMAN AND TELL HER HER HAIR SMELLS NICE? A: WHAT IF THE MAN IS A DWARF?"

"Out of 11, how bad is your OCD?"

"You know what makes my blood boil? Temperatures above 100 degrees celsius."

"How do you pick up a smokin' hot Jewish girl? Broom and a Dustpan."