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Joke of the Day

"I didn't choose the pervert life,the pervert life chose me."

"Did you hear about the murderer in India? he was a very sikh man"

"I feel like a battery because I am not included in anything :("

"Went to a public park and my 4yo was like, ""Is this Disney World?!"" The answer is yes and I'll cut anyone who tells her differently."

"What are the four fastest hands in the world? ...when it slips out."

"Why did the girls in *Requiem for a Dream* go ass to ass? They were just trying to make ends meet."

"Why does Washington DC stink? Because of the B O"

"Me: What are you doing?! 5-year-old: Hugging my sister. Me: Hugs don't start with a flying tackle. 5: Me: 5: The good ones do."

"Taking home work has never been more satisfying I love being a coroner!"

"How many immigrants. Q) How many immigrants does it take to change a light bulb? A) None. That is our fucking job!"