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Joke of the Day

"What do you call two gay chickpeas? Hummusexuals."

"What's the number ten's favorite Spanish phrase? Diez mio!"

"I want to be as annoying as a vegetarian but still eat meat so I'm telling people I only eat chicken. I'm calling myself a ""poultrivore""."

"[vet school] ME: Welcome, students. Hope you brought textbooks because- [spins cat on finger like basketball] -I have no idea what I'm doing"

"You can't boss me around until you're older than the whiskey I drink. -subtweet to my GF"

"I've just had to take the batteries out of the Carbon Monoxide alarm The loud beeping was giving me a headache and I was starting to feel sick and dizzy"

"What do chicks and jobs have in common? They're usually only interest in you if you already have one."

"Q.How Do you put an elephant in a fridge in 3 simple steps A.Open the fridge, put in the elephant, close the fridge"

"Donald Trump was really bragging about how big his penis was last night. Obama doesn't believe him. He's now calling for the release of his Girth Certificate."

"What do troll mathematicians like to solve? Parabolems?"