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Joke of the Day

"Donald Trump was really bragging about how big his penis was last night. Obama doesn't believe him. He's now calling for the release of his Girth Certificate."

"Damn girl, are you my date for today? Because you are 10/10"

"What are the inhabitants of Crete called? Cretins!"

"What's the difference between a wife and a girlfriend? 30 pounds. OK Ladies - if you didn't like that - what's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband? 45 minutes."

"what's the difference between light and hard? You can Sleep with a light on"

"Women dream of world peace, a safe environment, and eliminating hunger. What do men dream of? Being stuck in an elevator with the Doublemint twins."

"If at first you don't succeed try try a gun"

"I don't own a turntable, for the record."

"Look I see that you love me and would die for me, but this guy over here barely notices me and has a GF. I'll play the odds. -Woman logic"

"Two clowns are running for public office... It's funny for me though because I live in Canada."