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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a bunch of potheads working together? A joint effort!"

"""chill before serving"" is the best advice I can think of if you're an angry waitress"

"For Christmas I asked for the best looking person around The next morning I woke up in a box"

"WIFE: Your heavy drinking is making you delusional ME: *turns to friend* Do you think that's true? WOLVERINE: Nah, don't listen to her"

"If wishes were fishes... ...life would be pretty crappie"

"My daughter can open just about any front door using a credit card, so your kids honor roll certificate seems a little useless right now."

"The human body can survive 28 days without food, but only 11 minutes without Internet."

"I like my women like I like my doctors Always asking me to take my clothes off whenever I see them."

"Why did the criminal hide in the roof? It was very Con-Ceiling."

"There was a water fight at our local park today... ...and I won!!! Nobody is a match for me and my kettle!"