193414

Joke of the Day

"""chill before serving"" is the best advice I can think of if you're an angry waitress"

"Where does a pirate keep his buccaneer' s? Under his buccan-hat."

"Eating cheese right off the block then realizing you've eaten too much so you eat a bunch of chips makes it like nachos, right? Hey, fellas"

"In Israel, we just want peace. A piece of Jordan, a piece of Egypt, a piece of Lebanon..."

"How do you know your at a gay BBQ? The hotdogs taste like shit."

"What's snoop dogg's favorite author? Tolkien."

"Me: Has anyone ever told you that you look like Ryan Gosling? Him: Me? No, but thank- Me: Ok just making sure."

"There should be a sequel song about needing a ride back from Funkytown."

"What do you get when you cross Cleopatra with Marc Antony? Pharaoh-moans."

"Why did my girlfriend go on birth control? Because I wanted her to be a twinkie and not a toaster strudel."