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Joke of the Day

"There was a water fight at our local park today... ...and I won!!! Nobody is a match for me and my kettle!"

"""Can you describe your self in two words?"" - Lazy."

"Did you hear about the lazy perfume-maker? He made no scents."

"Today I was woken up by a blowjob. I hope I'll never fall asleep in the train with my mouth open again."

"Why does Pinocchio lie? Because he's a fucking liar."

"Why did the mouse whisper into the elephant's ear? The giraffe put him up to it."

"I don't have a sense of entitlement... but I deserve one."

"I finally figured out the secret to click bait. It is to repost the title every week."

"Aladdin's love for carpet rides must have saved Jasmine thousands of dollars in waxing fees and razors."

"You aren't going to believe who the most amazing person is. Just read the first two words!"