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Joke of the Day

"Women claim men are dogs but remember if you feed a dog his favorite food all the time, he will never leave home."

"Why do black guys always have red eyes after sex? Mace."

"Beer - tastes like I have friends Title."

"A good friend bails you out of jail, a best friend is sitting in the cell right next to you, a worst friend framed both of you for murder."

"A Spanish family surprised me by treating me to dinner. x-post /r/unexpectedcena"

"How do you start a rave in Uganda? Tape a slice of bread to the ceiling"

"How many Environmentalists does it take to change a light bulb? It doesn't matter, they will never change a thing."

"Jesus after the Last Supper goes through the bills. ""Guys, seriously, what the fuck, who ordered wine?"""

"Friend: I set a new personal record last week Me: Me too Friend: I took 2 minutes off my marathon time Me: I ate 12 tacos in one sitting."

"Americans are getting stronger. Fifty years ago, it took two people to carry twenty dollars' worth of groceries. Today, a five-year-old can do it."