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Joke of the Day

"A good friend bails you out of jail, a best friend is sitting in the cell right next to you, a worst friend framed both of you for murder."

Next Joke
 
"Each year millions of innocent lives are lost when they accidentally board the wrong plane bound straight for the waiting mouth of a child."
"Why was Thor so worried about his hair looking good? because he is a Norsissist."
"~ At a bar last night ~ Her: I don't want to be alone tonight Me: Well, I can take care of that *takes her home* Me: Pick any cat you want"
"OH MY GOD THE INSPIRATIONAL TWEETS ARE COMING FROM INSIDE THE HOUSE"
"[tv announcer] Are you bloated? Tired? Unable to enjoy the activities you once loved? [me with mouthful of chips] YEAH"
"Ebola walks into a bar.... ....and all of West Africa"
"I bring my Epipen everywhere It's my greatest treasure. I think my friend really wanted me to have it. He gave it to me right before he died."
"I got raped by a troupe of mimes last night They performed unspeakable acts."
"What is a pirate's favorite letter? You might thinks it's 'Arrrr"" but his first love be the 'C'"