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Joke of the Day

"How many Environmentalists does it take to change a light bulb? It doesn't matter, they will never change a thing."

"2 atoms walk into a bar One atom says to the other, ""Oh no, I've lost an electron!"" The other asks ""Are you sure?"" To which the atom replies, ""I'm positive!"""

"How many SJWs does it take to screw in a light bulb? One. They hold it in place and expect the world to revolve around them."

"I lost 50 pounds in two days Im never playing poker again"

"What did the asshole doorman say to the dick patron? You aint slick enough to slip right in!"

"What would Joan Rivers be doing if she was alive right now?! Scratching at the inside of her coffin. Courtesy of my dad."

"M: What do you want for dinner? H: I don't care, you decide M: Sushi? H: No, but whatever. M: Mexican? H: Nah, but your call. He's dead now"

"On what grounds did the wife divorce her husband when she found out he was having an affair with the leader of Cuba? Infidelity"

"What's the password to Forest Gumps laptop? 1forest1"

"He was the best human cannonball the circus ever had. You seldom meet a man of his caliber."