211962

Joke of the Day

"What does the 'B' in Benoit B Mandelbrot stand for? Benoit B Mandelbrot"

"What is a difference between acne and a catholic priest? Acne actually comes on a boys face after he turns 12"

"Top three reasons he doesn't text you back: 1. He's just not that into you 2. He's imaginary 3. He's a cat"

"The secret to having all of your dreams come true is to keep changing your dreams to something that's just about to happen anyway."

"The secret to my success lies with you having a poor grasp on it's definition."

"Why did the Time Traveler give Julius Caeser a BJ? He wanted to go down on history."

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Aleta ! Aleta who ? Aleta from the tax man !"

"What do you call an elderly burglar's vagina? A Crook Granny's Nooky Cranny!"

"[at Goodwill store] *buys pants that I gave them 6 months ago*"

"A midget was escaping prison... A midget was escaping prison. I watched him as he climbed over the fence. On the way down he smirked at me. I thought to myself, ""well that's a little condescending""."