211924

Joke of the Day

"What do people in Colorado eat on 3/14/15? Pot pie."

"If you were to look at my search history you might think I was a history buff... ... but in reality I just enjoy masturbating to pictures of Holocaust victims."

"Why didn't the lawyer monkey make any money? Because he did all his work pro bonobo"

"My lizards won't mate... Must be a reptile dysfunction."

"How many babies do you need to paint a wall? It depends how strong you throw them"

"5: Daddy, can we go get ice cream? Me: I don't see why not. 5: Mommy said I couldn't. M: Hey, there's the why not."

"Why does a pterodactyl always urinate on the side of the bowl? Because the pee is silent."

"[PetSmart] *approaches checkout with bird seed* ""that all for you today?"" Yes. How long does it usually take? ""For what?"" For them to grow"

"What do you call a gnome that muffs a fairy ? Goblin...."

"You can't be anti-abortion AND pro-death penalty AND a unicorn."