21191

Joke of the Day

"Did you ever hear about the guy who got both his left arm and left leg chewed off by bears? Yeah I saw him a few weeks ago, he's all right"

"I need some advice What has everyone been using to get ice of their cars in the morning? I've been using a discount card, but I can only ever get 20% off"

"Q: What do a woman and Kentucky Fried Chicken have in common? A: By the time you're finished with the breast and thighs, all you have left is the greasy box to put your bone in."

"*helping son with math problem* [hour later] JUST WRITE 75 GODDAMMIT!"

"Based on the things my kid will and won't eat, my cooking is apparently worse than a stale Fruit Loop covered in dog hair."

"What do you call an academic who apologises all the time? An anthropologist"

"A dog peed on my bike today. Of course I did not put up with that. I peed all over it immediately."

"What do you get if you cross an elephant with the Internet? I don't know but it's e-nourmous."

"What i do in my bedroom is my business, what I do in your bedroom ok I guess that's your business"

"Did you hear Charlie Sheen has HIV? He thinks he got it after sleeping with two and a half men."