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Joke of the Day
"If a bear attacks you, play dead. Ok good, you're about to feel like this forever"
Next Joke
"I hate when people talk behind my back. They disscuss me."
"If there are degrees of asshole, I'm the pressing the crosswalk button even after watching you do it because maybe you did it wrong kind."
"Pizza Hut is going gluten free so while you are dying from a heart attack you can atleast not have gas problems"
"Your momma is so fat.... She ate the internet"
"In 1973, the Six Million Dollar Man consisted of a bionic man with super powers... In 2016, the Six Million Dollar Man consists of two hip replacements."
"What did the sea say to the shore? Nothing, he just waved. Christmas crackers are the worst."
"Wanna play guns? Bend over and I'll cock you."
"Dad says he's practicing Tai Chi to learn how to align his 'Chi's Now, he says, he just needs to learn how to align his crackers, and he'll be able to make a perfect party platter."
"What does Batman like with his whiskey? (Gravely voice) ""Just ice."""