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Joke of the Day

"I like how McDonalds mixes the napkins in the to-go bag with the greasy food, so that even when I'm wiping my mouth I can get fatter."

"What is a mathematicians favorite Eagles song? Take it to the limit. RIP Glenn Frey"

"Ran into an ex-girlfriend. We talked, exchanged info, and she said her ""insurance would call"" me. Someones still carrying a torch!"

"Why did the hipster burn his tongue? He drank his coffee before it was cool."

"What's the difference between Reddit and 9Gag? About 5 seconds."

"""If I could have dinner with any person, dead or alive... ..I would choose alive."" -BJ Novak-"

"Is there anything sexier than a woman who reads? Yes: Models."

"I have a serious inflation fetish... So I moved to zimbabwe."

"A black guy walks into a bar with a parrot... The bartender says, ""Wow! That is really cool! Where did you get it?"" ""Africa"", says the parrot."

"How to die with dignity. 1. Grab your dignity with your right hand. 2. Die"