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Joke of the Day

"BREAKING NEWS: NASA announces Mars Rover discovered new feline-like life form on the Red Planet Unfortunately, it ran over the newly discovered creature. Yes, it seems Curiosity killed the cat."

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"What did C say to E? She wants the D."
"Your body is a temple. Congrats on the expanding congregation!"
"""I hate burritoes!"" -No Juan ever"
"Q: Why don't men fake orgasm? A: Coz no man would pull those faces on purpose."
"She died doing what she loved: driving while taking a photo of a license plate that had 69 in it"
"Have you guys heard about Reese Witherspoon? I Hershey is in a new movie."
"Have your people call my people but keep in mind that my ""people"" are just stuffed animals with cordless phones glued to their necks."
"I get plenty of exercise - jumping to conclusions, pushing my luck, and dodging deadlines."
"If I had 1,000,000 dollars, I would pay to have sex with your mom. And then I would invest the other 999,995 bucks."