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Joke of the Day

"""I hate burritoes!"" -No Juan ever"

"How do you catch a unique bird? Unique up on it. How do you catch a tame bird? Tame way you caught the unique bird."

"""We have here the results of your fraternity test."" (*opens envelope*) ""Kyle... You are NOT the bro!"""

"Where does bees wax come from? Bees nuts!"

"How many times do you pass your coworker in the hall before you switch from saying ""hi"" to breakdance fighting?"

"WELL WELL WELL, if it isn't the lady who's baby I stole."

"How does a orphan change a light bulb? They grab the stack of un-signed adoption papers, stand on top of them, then proceed to change the light bulb."

"Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me five times, good job, you're the guy who makes the trailers for the Paranormal Activity movies."

"Telling your date that she reminds you of your ex is a bit like farting after a curry. It's risky and is probably not best done during a blowjob."

"A duck walks into a store and says, ""Give me some fucking Chapstick."" The clerk says, ""Alright, settle down you feathered cunt... How are you going to pay for that?"" ""Oh, just put it on my bill."""