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Joke of the Day

"Husband: I'll unload the dishwasher for you, honey. Me: No rush. 3 days later.......regrets saying no rush."

"I was going to yell ""Surprise!"" but missed the opportunity, now I'm stuck standing behind a curtain wondering when this becomes stalking."

"Why didn't hitler ever cook hot dogs at a bar-b-que? He always tends to burn the franks."

"How I flirt: *Stares from a distance*"

"If your body is a temple, does than mean that bald guys get to come inside you?"

"Once this whole ""global warming thing"" melts the ice caps We're gonna have a canoe world order."

"My kid asked for help with her report but if I did it for her she won't learn! So I showed how to google, change name, & print on her own."

"My kids lost a Barbie shoe. I dug in the trash and found one. It was from a set they didn't know was missing Now I'm looking for 2 shoes."

"Having an Internet girlfriend is easier than having a real girlfriend because I don't have to suck my gut in."

"How does a jew make coffee? Hebrews it"