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Joke of the Day

"Do you like cats? Me too. But I can never finish one by myself"

"Did you hear about the new show about Xi Jinping, Kim Jong Un and Vladimir Putin? It's called [Removed]"

"If you think grammar isn't important, well, it's."

"Me: You won't believe the dream I had last night! I slapped you in the face with a hot pizza. Him: M: *looks down* *sees pepperoni all over*"

"Mississippi's Education/Testing scores are the worst in the nation... yep, we're ranked 53rd."

"What's the best way to make your wife angry during sex? Call her and tell her where you are."

"How do you feel when you don't have coffee? Depresso."

"I thought being patronized would be cool until they explained it did not involve tequila."

"What's Mario's favourite clothing? Denim denim denim"

"2 guys walk into a bar. The first one says i want h2O and has a drink. Says damn this is good. The second guy says ""bartender, I want some h2O too."" The second guy dies."