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Joke of the Day

"Me: You won't believe the dream I had last night! I slapped you in the face with a hot pizza. Him: M: *looks down* *sees pepperoni all over*"

"Why does Oedipus hate profanity? He kisses his mother with that mouth."

"I just saw the Kardashian sisters and now I feel more Christmassy. Ho Ho Ho."

"I'm getting really irritated. This is the tenth ATM I've been to in the last week that's had ""insufficient funds""."

"If everything is going your way You're in the wrong lane"

"Justin Bieber Comedy Roast - 10 Meanest Jokes"

"I told my grandmother to act her age.... then she died."

"Why was the comic book series depressed? Because it had too many issues."

"What did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? I don't know, he hasn't opened his presents yet."

"Hear the slogan for the Stealth Condom? ""They'll never see you coming."""