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Joke of the Day

"So rude of Ashton Kutcher to file divorce papers right before Demi Moore's 150th birthday."

"I just put my D in a subwoofer and wubbed one out"

"I can't make you love me but I can tie you up and feed you until you're too fat to be loved by anyone else."

"So today is Earth day on what grounds are we celebrating?"

"I used to be a senile UPS worker Shit I messed up the delivery"

"Why did Beethoven get rid of his chickens? All they said was, ""Bach, Bach, Bach"""

"""Son, I want to let you know that you were adopted. ""What?! Really?!"", I said. ""Yep! Go pack your things and get ready"", my dad said. ""They'll be here to pick you up in twenty minutes."""

"Ever heard of a sex position called a 71? Its a 69, and each partner puts a finger up their partners butt!"

"May the bards singeth this song henceforth on the 31st of August Oh my god its a happening My balls I am a grappling A tree grown from a sapling On the day that was the fappening"

"What did Courtney Love say before she shot Kurt? ""Hole is gonna be huge."""