201528

Joke of the Day

"May the bards singeth this song henceforth on the 31st of August Oh my god its a happening My balls I am a grappling A tree grown from a sapling On the day that was the fappening"

"I love how all the characters in kids shows are always SO thrilled while at work. Like Bob never gets pissed over a missing screwdriver."

"Why is the galley the safest place to be on a capsizing ship? Because everything but the kitchen sinks. =D ^(I feel dirty)"

"why the animale go to the store? ""chill"" with friends"

"What's a pirates FAVORITE letter? *They ALWAYS say Rrrrr* ""You'd think its Rrrrr but it's the sea they love"""

"Next time you're having a bad day just remember that alligators spend their whole lives looking like they're trying to do a push-up."

"You're right, homeless man on the subway...it is a ""clip your toenails into your McDonald's cup"" kind of morning."

"My favorite hobby is pretending to be surprised when my credit card is declined."

"So I suppose Obi-Gyn Kenobi would have used the forceps?"

"KIDNAPPER: Get in the trunk ME: You're abducting me 4 days before Christmas? K: Heh yep ME: Omg thank you K: What ME: I'm all yours K: Wait"