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Joke of the Day

"hey pregnant lady slowly crossing the street on a green light it's a baby not a forcefield"

"What is H.P. Lovecraft's cook book called? The Necronomnomnomicon."

"It's not true love until you annoy me with a Facebook post professing it."

"Chivalry isn't dead. He's just sleeping. Right, chivalry? CHIVALRY!?"

"What do you call a race ran by female horses? A mare-a-thon."

"What do you do to an aggressive vegan? Shove your meat in their face."

"My husband asks too many questions. ""Who is Steve?"" ""Why does he call all the time?"" ""What's this bill for a hotel room?"""

"Why did Hitler like blind people? Because they can not see."

"Believe me if you ever saw it, you would even say it glows!"

"[text] ""Hey"" Hi. ""I'm just laying in bed thinking about you."" This is your mom. ""New phone who dis?"" Eric, that doesn't work. You texted me."