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Joke of the Day

"Why did Ahmed Mohamed put his clock in a pencil case? because pipe clock would have just been stupid."

"So I was sitting in traffic the other day... got run over."

"The weatherman keeps saying we are getting a pounding. *Followed*"

"I recently decided to sell my vacuum cleaner All it was doing was gathering dust."

"The only thing worse than a male chauvinistic pig is a woman that won't do as she is told."

"A guy is watching TV and suddenly Yells, ""Don't enter that church you fool!"" His wife asks him, ""What are you watching?"" ""OUR WEDDING!"""

"Oops. My brain just hit a bad sector."

"76% of being in a relationship is waiting for someone to watch a show."

"Twenty years ago my mother almost aborted my brother. Yesterday he died in a fight with a cloakroom attendant. The coathanger still got him in the end."

"What did the two tampons say to each other? Nothing, they're both stuck-up cunts."