211211

Joke of the Day

"I was arrested on my way to school today on suspicion of being a terrorist Turns out I bombed the test"

"So I was reaching for the Viagra... But I picked up the tipp-ex by mistake. I woke up with a massive correction."

"Over all these years, you'd think I'd remember how important the ""L"" in clock is...especially when asking mom if I can borrow dad's."

"How do you get a dog to stop humping your leg? Suck his dick"

"""You're prettier than I remember, you were SO FAT the last time I saw you!"" TY Uncle Bob, I was 8months pregnant. *spits in his pumpkin pie"

"What's the only mammal that can breathe under ice? An elephant hiding in your fridge"

"What's the difference between a feminist and a gun? A gun only has one trigger"

"If I can make just one person laugh at my jokes then I've done a shitty job at joke writing."

"Why do police officers keep water in the automobile trunk? Because they don't want the siren to die."

"If I have offended you, hurt you, belittled you in any manner, then I want you to know that I was only just getting started."