211059

Joke of the Day

"I've opened a restaurant called 'Karma'... There's no menu, you just get what you deserve."

"A Jewish boy needs $20 So he asks his father. Son: Papa, could I have twenty bucks please? Father: Ten bucks!? Whaddya need five bucks for!?"

"No need to worry if your parachute don't unfold... ... You'll have the rest of your life to fix it."

"Why do bacteria congregate in public places? It's a part of their culture."

"Crap. They didn't cancel this morning's meeting. I wore my suit to bed inside out for nothing."

"LPT: To baby-proof your home: put your front doorknob like 4 feet off the ground so the babies can't reach it. Then those fuckers won't get in!"

"How many literalists does it take to change a lightbulb? One."

"What's grey, has four legs, howls at the moon, and eats cement? A wolf. I threw in the cement to make it hard."

"What did the bad soccer announcer get in his stocking? COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAL!"

"Why are calculators grey and boring? Cause it's what's on the inside that counts! EDIT: it was a joke guys:("