211058

Joke of the Day

"Most Facebook updates should be like this: Hi everybody, I didn't have anything meaningful to tell you. I just wanted to waste your time."

"I sneezed while pissing and almost pissed everywhere I think I have PEE-T-S-D now :( That was scary"

"*walks into a five guys* Did the five guys ever kiss"

"What's the difference between a gay man and a refrigerator? My refrigerator doesn't fart when I pull my meat out of it."

"what's the height of trust? two cannibals in a 69"

"Look, I don't know how else to put this but your baby is just hideous. We were all thinking it but I drew the short straw. More water?"

"What's the best cure to a bad hangover? A good personality"

"What do you call a bird that's afraid of heights? A chicken"

"Me: *taps one-night-stand on forehead* Unfollowed. One-Night-Stand: It doesn't work like that... Me: *taps him on forehead again* Blocked."

"A reality show, where you spy on your suspected cheating significant other, called Baewatch."