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Joke of the Day

"On Fridays, I always dress for what the weather is going to be at 3am when I drunkenly lock myself out of my apartment."

"Hamlet, but starring a pig. We call it: Hamlet. Let me explain"

"I'd take Cap'n Crunch more seriously if his eyebrows weren't on his hat."

"What do you call a fortune teller that always predicts happiness for her clients? A hooker with a gimmick"

"What do you call a funny snake? HISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSTERICAL ^^^my ^^^son ^^^^told ^^^^^me ^^^^^^this ^^^^^^^one.."

"What's the difference between love, true love, and showing off? Spitting, swallowing, and gargling."

"Q: What's as sharp as a vampire's fang? A: His other fang."

"What type of tea do babies drink? Tit tea "

"If a tree falls in the forest and no one hears it, that's probably a good, isolated spot to commit crimes."

"A woman walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a double entendre. He gave it to her."