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Joke of the Day

"Went on a date with a non-partisan woman I gave it to her right down the middle."

"Smokey the Bear just told me that only *I* could prevent forest fires. This is a lot of pressure, people."

"Why was the powerful Jedi a terrible comedian? Too *forced*, his punchlines were"

"What is the difference between a hockey player and a hippie chick? Hockey players shower after three periods.."

"Why does the pedophile like Halloween? Free shipping."

"People keep telling me to start thinking for myself... I'm not sure what they want me to think about."

"The cannibal was late to dinner He was given the cold shoulder"

"Someone just caught me picking my nose at a stop light. Had to just cut my losses and run the red light."

"In regards to the Noah movie: Make sure you take someone with you, I heard they're only selling tickets in pairs."

"Boy, are you a salad? Because I don't want you."