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Joke of the Day

"In regards to the Noah movie: Make sure you take someone with you, I heard they're only selling tickets in pairs."

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"Can Feburary March? No. But April May"
"Why do Seagulls Fly over the Sea? Because if they flew over the bay they would be Bagels"
"Jaded Prostitute & considerate leper What did the leper say to the prostitute? Stop me if you've heard this one"
"How do blind people know when they're done wiping?"
"What's the leading cause of violence in America? Volkswagen Beetles."
"i didnt give that homeless guy money because his beard wasnt up to my standards. clean your act up homeless guy"
"Give the chick a break. Kristen Stewart TOTALLY looks sorry. Or happy. Or sad. Or constipated."
"I'll catch you later: Cool thing to say to a friend, scary thing to say to a child."
"How do you get a New Yorker upset about ISIS terror attacks? Tell them ISIS are Red Sox fans."
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