210890

Joke of the Day

"[Troy in the olden times] ""WTF is that?"" A wooden horse ""It's not full of soldiers is it?"" [from in horse] JUST TAKE IT INSIDE & HAVE A LOOK"

"The best way to get taken seriously... ...is to be related to Liam Neeson."

"I just took an IQ test and apparently I'm a Libra?"

"That's one healthy flower bed you've got blooming in your backyard. How many bodies do you have buried there? -My attempts at small talk."

"They say money doesn't grow on trees So what are hedgefunds then?"

"Being married is like playing cards If you don't have a good partner, you better have a good hand."

"My Friends Call Me A Pedophile Because she's 18 and I'm 30, but I'll be damned if I let them ruin our seven year anniversary."

"After years of courting her , she finally said yes Followed by 'thats him, officer'"

"We got about 5-6 inches of snow here in the last 24 hrs, or, according to men, we got 8 inches."

"[presidents 2km race - finish line] OBAMA (checks stopwatch): just under 10 mins, did I beat the record? CLINTON: no, Bush did 9:11"