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Joke of the Day

"Being an adult is like being a Quentin Tarantino movie: it starts out real cool, there's lots of cursing, it's very confusing, everyone dies"

"My cousin was Mulder on Halloween. He loves the X-Files! Oh stupid autocorrect. That should have said ""murdered"". And ""loved"", past tense."

"My Executive Director said to me ""Well aren't you an eager beaver"" I was like ""Oh my God, Why? What have you heard???"""

"I spent 20 years traversing across the globe searching for the best mustache... ... Until I realized the best mustache was right under my nose the whole time"

"I was going to make a joke about anal sex... ...butt fuck it."

"What do you get when you cross a rooster with a telephone pole? A ten foot cock that wants to reach out and touch someone."

"Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a serial rapist."

"Why do they call old people 'frogs' in Florida? 'Cause they all go there to croak!"

"What do authors do when they are being chased? They make like Dr. Jekyll and Hyde!"

"Current anger level: I am last-beer-in-the-fridge-turns-out-to-be-a-soy-sauce-bottle angry."