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Joke of the Day

"My wife went to see a spiritualist last week. I asked her ""how did you rate her?"" She said ""medium."""

"I don't know why so many people blame their air conditioning for their inability to spell."

"You'd think Pizza Hut would be able to upgrade to a house by now."

"What do you call an oyster who can't find another job? A clamboni driver!"

"What's long green and goes hith ? A snake with a lisp !"

"What do you call a Knight that cuts beef? Sir Loin."

"A grasshopper hops into a bar. The bartender says, ""You're quite a celebrity around here. We've even got a drink named after you."" The grasshopper says, ""You've got a drink named Steve?"""

"A girl from the recruitment agency called. She said, ""Sir, I have three openings for you."" I said, ""I know."" She hung up."

"Social media is great. Before Facebook I'd never know what the girl who wrote ""dirty Jew"" on my 8th grade locker was thankful for this year."

"Culturally speaking... Having a McDonald's in a WalMart is like finding a cyst in a tumour."