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Joke of the Day

"What is the best pick up line at a gay bar? ""Hello, can I push your stool in for you?"""

"Girl, are you into conspiracy theories? Because you are looking Illumi-naughty!"

"A super villain gently petting a carpet sample instead of a cat."

"(nsfw) Why did God invent yeast infections? So women also will know what it's like to live with an annoying cunt."

"Why shouldn't you throw a rock at a Mexican riding a bike? Because that might be your bike"

"Hey'd you hear about that guy who's half Indian, half Canadian? Yeah, his name is Aziz I'msorry"

"childrens alphabet books are the only thing keeping us from forgetting what a xylophone is"

"Who, you ask, turns the AC on during a polar vortex? Sociopaths, fascist dictators, my boyfriend."

"What does a baker say when he/she makes a mistake? ""Dough!"""

"Her: you take nice selfies Me: so I'm vain Her: no you're photogenic Me: oh so I'm ugly in real life Her: just say thanks Me: oh so I'm rude"