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Joke of the Day

"I remember the first time I saw a universal remote control. I thought to myself, ""Well, this changes everything"""

"Sarah Palin's political integrity. Because she's ~~a woman~~ an idiot."

"A young woman rolled her eyes towards me, So I picked them up and rolled them back."

"Sometimes it is very important if a sentence was said by a man or a woman. . A good example: ""I used a whole pack of tissues during that awesome movie yesterday..."

"Why did the banjo player get into heaven? The devil has standards."

"RIDDLER: What has-- BATMAN: A gazebo ROBIN: Matches RIDDLER: Let me finish- BM: A paperweight R: Dental floss RIDDLER: I hate you guys"

"I probably should kill myself Because I want to leave the same way I came. By my own hand."

"""I dunno, maybe you go steal an old lady's purse, you can hold up a liquor store, & you...just sit there looking mean."" -Unorganized Crime"

"Why has Santa Claus such a big sack? Because he only comes once a year."

"You've got to let me meet your dentist, black people."