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Joke of the Day
"Who the hell came up with 'prolly' for probably?"
Next Joke
"Rocks think evolution is bullshit."
"I'll pay full price for the next iPhone if the only change they make to it is erasing ""ducking"" from the autocorrect."
"*Turns up ""Eye of the Tiger""* *air boxes* *jumps imaginary rope* *takes awesome nap* *crowned World Nap Champion third day in a row*"
"Toilets that automatically flush before I'm done make me feel like every relationship I've ever been in."
"If alcohol kills germs and laughter is the best medicine, I'm the healthiest person on the planet."
"I wondered where my boomerang had gone. Then it came back to me"
"[at a spelling bee] Judge: Your word is SPELL. Witch: *mumbles something under her breath* Judge: Ribbit"
"*aliens return to ship* ALIEN LEADER: Where are the humans? ""We left them"" AL: Why? ""They didn't look anything like their selfies in rl"""
"Why did the watermelon and the honeydew decide to cancel their spontaneous wedding in Las Vegas? They realized with a family like theirs, they really Cantaloupe."