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Joke of the Day

"*Turns up ""Eye of the Tiger""* *air boxes* *jumps imaginary rope* *takes awesome nap* *crowned World Nap Champion third day in a row*"

"My Optometrist told me in 8 years I'd have 2020 vision."

"Why did the moron throw the clock out the window? Because it reminded him of Richard Clock, the man accused of viciously knife-raping his wife."

"Change your Facebook Status to ""I'm Pregnant"" or ""I'm Engaged"" and watch the April Fools LIKE & Comment away."

"Arguing on the internet is like competing in the Special Olympics Even if you win, you're still fucking retarded."

"You can make jokes about anything, just not mexicans That's crossing the border!"

"[2nd time at girls house] ""where's your dog?"" Oh he isn't mine. I was dog sitting [makes text alert sound w mouth] ""Its work. I gotta go"""

"knock knock who's there? To To who? AH AH AH, to whom"

"Kids we are running late let's go! *Kids I'm going to count every stair on the way down with out my shoes on.*"

"There must've been a good reason Zimmerman pulled a gun on his wife. Like, maybe she was walking down the street, minding her own business."