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Joke of the Day

"Rocks think evolution is bullshit."

"Why is the hipster sweating? Because he wore a scarf before it was cool."

"I've been getting a lot more use out of my treadmill since I put a blanket and pillow on it."

"As a parent I often wonder if there's anything I could've done differently to prevent the jealousy between my twins Lisa & Hog Face."

"I want some Chuck Norris jokes! Something like: *Chuck Norris can believe it's not butter.* or *Jesus may be able to walk on water, but Chuck Norris can swim through land.*"

"A man and a woman walk into a bar..."

"Someone had the audacity to delete every version of Microsoft Office from my computer. I have no Words."

"I love puns about England... They really Brighton my day."

"Why did the SpaceX rocket explode? because I don't love you anymore."

"Me: (squeezing into a gown) I'm so sick of the fashion industry. Who do you even make these clothes for? Children? Disney Store clerk: Yes."