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Joke of the Day
"I came into a lot of money today. But now the bills are all stuck together :("
Next Joke
"You know how Hitler picked up hot Jewish girls? With a broom and dust pan."
"If sex with three people is called a threesome and sex with two people is called a twosome... then I know why people call you handsome."
"You say to-MAY-to and I also say to-MAY-to because nobody says to-MAH-to. Nobody."
"What weapons did the Romans use to fight the Carthaginians As-salt rifles"
"Why do people say raw sewage. Saying raw makes it sound like it becomes better if cooked properly."
"Pig Breeding by Lena Bacon"
"Something good did come out of last night: I talked to my mom and my fiancee on the phone while they were crying- and it wasn't about something I'd done!"
"I get SO ANGRY whenever I see someone with their wallet chained to their belt I can't fucking take it"
"Another normal evening Cook food - 30 minutes Eat it - 5 minutes Check Facebook - 1 minute Check Twitter - 8 hours"