33689

Joke of the Day

"I get SO ANGRY whenever I see someone with their wallet chained to their belt I can't fucking take it"

"I held an orgy for my sexual dysfunction class last night. Nobody came."

"If life gives you lemons, you make lemonade. If life gives you melons... You might have sex daily!"

"What do you call a mexican who lost his car? Carlos"

"What do a nearsighted gynecologist and a puppy have in common? A wet nose."

"Overheard a girl just say she's full because she ate at 3:00. It's 6:00. How can you stay full for THREE HOURS, alien?"

"Sausage fest at my house tonight. Not what you think. Just eating many varieties of sausage. Nice people. Good music. NO GIRLS ALLOWED."

"Was feeling particularly adventorous today.so decided to jump off a moving train.now hav to buy my nephew a new train set"

"I like my puns like I like my sausages... the wurst ones are the best."

"Gangs should do drive-bys with t-shirt guns it'd be less violent & the shirt could say ""you suck"" so the target still gets the message"