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Joke of the Day

"Another normal evening Cook food - 30 minutes Eat it - 5 minutes Check Facebook - 1 minute Check Twitter - 8 hours"

"How did the fish's tail get stuck in the anchor chain? It was just a fluke!"

"what was adam's nickname for eve? prime rib"

"How do you know when a bass player and drummer are at your front door? The knocking is out of time and they don't know when to come in."

"NSFW: ""Do you spit or swallow?"" I was out on a date with this girl, when I asked her, ""Do you spit or swallow?"" She slapped my face and stormed off... I'm never taking anyone to wine tasting again!!"

"Why are gay men se well dressed? They didn't spend all that time in the closet doing nothing."

"Why do molluscs only think of themselves? Because they're shellfish"

"person: can you keep a secret? me: I'll never share what you say but it will weigh on me and negatively affect my life person: oh thank god"

"Did you hear about the Mexican Army's new weapons? Everyone was issued a nail gun."

"I got lit with my Tibetan friend once Once."