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Joke of the Day

"Whats the difference between a hooker and a lawyer? The hooker stops fucking you when your dead."

"""I'm leaving you"" ""why?"" ""Your jokes are old and tiresome"" ""but, I can updog"" ""What's updog?"" ""NOTHIN, WHAT'S UP WI-"" *slams door*"

"Why did the dog scratch itself against the tree? Ruff Bark"

"When my boyfriend gives me a hug during an argument, it looks loving, but I'm just patting him down to make sure he's not wearing a wire."

"What do you call a group of senior Japanese comedians? Comic Sans"

"Look ma no friends"

"Told my black co-worker that I'm avoiding Africans at the airport this weekend. His response: ""I'm avoiding them everywhere!"""

"What did the cannibal coach yell when his player twisted his ankle? Wok it off! Wok it off!"

"I won $3 million on the Lottery this weekend. I decided to donate a quarter of it to Charity. Now I have $2,999,999.75 and she has $.25"

"Good women are found on every corner of the earth but sadly the earth is round."